Feature article

True is it that we have seen better days

Have you fallen out of love with your car? Take the plunge and make a fresh start.

Our first year together was something of a Shakespearean love story: enduring and happy. Your rustic, bright blue exterior only added to your uniqueness. You were small, compact and fulfilled my daily driving needs in every way. We went everywhere together, journeying from Wellington to the far reaches of the North. I turned a blind eye to your flaws; they made you you.

As the years passed, I think we both began to notice my wandering eye. To my shame, I found myself daydreaming about being in the seat of other cars… an Audi or Mercedes. I just needed a bit of excitement in my life! That ‘spark’ we once felt, it was gone. It made me realise that frankly, my dear, I’m just not that into you.

It’s not you, it’s me…

Don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. You’ve been great these past few years; I couldn’t have asked for a better car. You just can’t give me what I need anymore. Don’t act like it’s all on me though; we’ve been growing apart for some time. I’ve noticed your own deep and singular melancholy, those longing looks through the garage window as you dream of getting out on the road more often. It’s a dream I can simply no longer satisfy, as I find myself more often than not hanging my head in shame when my bright blue, peeling paint, no hubcap, rusting, slow little hatchback pulls up next to, well, any other car.

Now, I just can’t see past your flaws.

Every ding, scrape and weird noise you make really grinds my gears. The loud screaming noise the wind makes when it hits the wing mirror isn’t funny anymore, it’s annoying. Being physically incapable of driving up a hill faster than 30km an hour isn’t amusing, it’s embarrassing. Having paint peeling from every single exterior panel isn’t quirky, it looks bad. I could go on and on… you simply don’t cut the mustard.

An end to the affair

I now see that our love was more a tragedy: flawed, hollow and immature. And so, it is with a heavy heart and through bated breath I say; it’s time to move on. You’ll find someone else, someone who appreciates your - many, many - flaws… I ask that you don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Let’s go our separate ways, with no hassles, fuss or breaking down…